The Plan
by Cloudmaiden Nephele
Summary: Two kunoichi devised a theory and have no choice but to test it.
1. Tsunade

**Disclaimer: I hold no claim to any of the characters or situations of Naruto.**

_AN: This is the continuation of "The Theory"._

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**Tsunade**

Tsunade stared suspiciously at the seemingly harmless container of sake standing innocuously on the center of her paper laden desk beside a colossal stack of unfiled mission reports. The hokage's amber eyes narrowed from above the interlaced fingers upon which her chin was cradled.

'Something suspicious is going on here,' the busty blonde sensed as she glanced warily around her once more. 'There's no way Shizune would allow sake to be in my office when I'm supposed to be working.'

"I have to find out what's going on," Tsunade mused. "Oh well, there's no use letting good sake go to waste."

With no further ado, she pulled out a ceramic cup from one of the lower drawers in her sagging desk. Lifting up the white bottle, she poured the sake into her cup and brought it before her face. Swirling the clear fluid, she stared meditatively into the small vessel before shrugging and downing the shot of potent liquor with a satisfied sigh.

'That's good stuff. This must have cost a fortune,' she thought as she poured herself another generous cup and knocked it back. "You two can come out now."

"Hello Tsunade-sama," Ino chirped as she and Sakura jumped through the open window where they were lurking and into the room. Her partner in crime scratched the back of her head sheepishly as she smiled.

"To what do I owe the honor of your presence?"

"Well," Ino began, "it has to do with a trivial matter that Sakura and I were discussing yesterday…"

"Hardly trivial if you are willing to go so far as bribing me with good sake," Tsunade interrupted wryly as she sipped at said bribe from the newly replenished cup.

"Well, perhaps not so trivial," Ino conceded. "You see, we came up with this theory and we've decided that it needs to be tested."

"The problem is," Sakura continued, "there could be a few difficulties in doing so."

"That is where you come in," Ino finished.

"Should I be worried?"

"Of course not," Ino gasped theatrically. "It is simply a matter of assuaging our curiosity."

"And the process of acquiring this knowledge could also be beneficial in the additional information gained," Sakura added.

"You've got me intrigued," Tsunade admitted. "So, just what is this theory?"

"You know how there are so few kunoichi in relation to the number of male shinobi?" Ino asked.

"Yes."

"Well," Ino said primly, "it occurred to us that due to this unequal distribution regarding gender that it was highly likely that the male shinobi's sexual appetites would have to be allayed by those of like dispositions resulting from a lack of female companionship."

Tsunade blinked. "What?"

"Now," Sakura took over, "with perseverance it is easy enough to monitor the sexual inclinations of the shinobi here in our own village. The difficulty lies with discovering if our theory holds true with shinobi who lie outside of the hidden village system and the squads consisting of one kunoichi for every two male shinobi."

"For our test subjects we have chosen the Akatsuki," Ino relayed.

"Before you reject this you should hear the rest of our plan," Sakura continued blithely as Tsunade opened and closed her mouth with a skeptical look. "Obviously there is a certain element of danger involved with observing such dangerous and unpredictable characters. For this we have decided to utilize what human elements we have at our disposal and that are willing to undergo such a high risk endeavor to gather data."

"However," Ino interrupted, "there is an equal amount of gain involved. In addition to either supporting or rejecting our theory, the details gathered could also be advantageous to Konoha since we would be obtaining potentially valuable information that is extraneous to our theory but could be of assistance to later taking down this highly iniquitous organization and protecting the whole of the shinobi world."

"It would also be an excellent test of the deductive reasoning of all the shinobi involved," Sakura pointed out as her mentor sipped at her sake with a disbelieving stare. "Not to mention, the select few included in research retrieval will also have ample opportunity to hone all of the skills necessary for reconnaissance missions."

"You two really thought this out didn't you?" Tsunade murmured.

"Naturally," Ino answered as she and Sakura waited with bated breath for their answer.

"And for what reason do you need my assistance?"

"Well, we wouldn't want anyone we involve in this to get in any trouble for going out for information," Sakura said seriously.

"It would be much easier if we had your cooperation," Ino agreed with equal gravity.

"Naturally we don't want to make the Akatsuki suspicious of our intentions," Sakura mentioned. "Therefore we wouldn't be able to send people out constantly or in substantial numbers. Everything would have to be done inconspiciously. There should be no negative impact on the defensive abilities of the village."

"These are also peaceful times, if you don't count the threat posed by the Akatsuki," Ino supplemented. "So the extra work would keep us prepared and in top form."

"So you want me to find people to send on these pseudo-missions?"

"No, of course not!" Sakura objected. "We would find volunteers who would be willing to assist us in our quest for answers. We're not asking you to send people out like that."

"Just to give them permission to gather information," Tsunade speculated.

"Yes," the two hopeful kunoichi chorused.

"I'm not so sure about this," Tsunade trailed off as the conspirators waited on tenterhooks.

"It is an interesting proposition," a new voice said from the window. "However, I have my doubts that you would find any information to support your theory."

With this, Jiraiya appeared crouching on the windowsill, blocking the waning light from the room. All three women started, settling down after they recognized the intruder.

"What do you mean?" Tsunade asked suspiciously with another sip of sake as she grumbled about people not recognizing the reason for doors.

"The plan for going about proving or disproving this theory is quite good, but I can already tell you that it will be disproved."

"And why do you say that?" Ino inquired.

"What shinobi would chase after his own kind when there are so many exquisite examples of feminine beauty around him to sample?" Jiraiya grinned.

Tsunade lifted her brow. "So you think they're wrong."

"I'd be willing to bet that they are," Jiraiya proclaimed.

"I accept that bet," Tsunade said with a smirk as she threw back the rest of her sake. "Same terms as usual?"

"Naturally," Jiraiya grinned as he rubbed his hands together. "I do so love doing business with you, my dear Tsunade."

"You won't win this time," Tsunade growled competitively, a light flush adorning her face from alcohol consumption.

"So you say," Jiraiya responded, waving his hand and leaping down into the city.

"I will do everything at my disposal for you to prove your theory," Tsunade said to the two kunoichi standing before her. "You two had better win me this bet. Dismissed!"

Sakura and Ino swiftly retreated from the room, through the door this time. The two rushed down the stairs and out into the warmth of the evening sunshine before embracing each other with squeals of jubilation. Elated grins lit upon their faces as they bounded down the street towards their base of operations, more commonly known as Ino's room.

"So everything worked out to plan," Jiraiya said as he popped out of the shadows, startling the kunoichi.

"Yes!" Ino grinned madly as she bounced giddily on the balls of her feet.

"We can't thank you enough for agreeing to help us convince Tsunade to allow this," Sakura smiled as she bowed gracefully in gratitude.

"No problem," the toad sage responded. "Just keep me updated on how things are going and we'll call it even. Remember not to skimp on any juicy details. This might just be the inspiration I need to write my next book."

Ino tilted her head. "So you're going to venture into the unknown?"

"Perhaps," Jiraiya mused. "Well, I'd better be off to do some more research for the latest installment of my Icha Icha series."

With this, the Sannin vanished into the shadows from whence he came, leaving two cynical kunoichi trying not to wonder about the dubious nature of their unlikely partner's behavior.

"Think we can use that to enlist Kakashi's assistance?" Ino asked of her longtime friend.

"Maybe, but not quite yet," Sakura answered. "We want to get this started before we involve him."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"So, any ideas as to whom we recruit first?"

"Let's wait until we're firmly ensconced in headquarters before discussing our possibilities. We don't want prying ears to be privy to information of such a delicate nature."


	2. Kiba and Akamaru

**Disclaimer: I hold no claim to any of the characters or situations of Naruto.**

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**Kiba and Akamaru**

"Hey, what's up?" Kiba commented as he and Akamaru came upon the two resting kunoichi in the park while out jogging.

"Oh, nothing much," Ino said dismissively as she surreptitiously folded up a list of names and slipped it into her pocket. "Just working on a little project we started."

"Project, huh?" Kiba mused. "Sounds like a good idea. There's nothing to do around here lately. Akamaru and I have been bored out of our minds with all of the peace and low-ranking missions. It wouldn't be so bad if there was something to break the tedium every now and then."

Ino and Sakura perked up, a devious look shared between them as green met teal in agreement.

"Would you like to help us with our project?" Sakura asked with a mien of innocence.

"Sure, why not," Kiba agreed as he and Akamaru sat down beneath the large oak beside the young women.

xXx

Deidara's single visible blue eye twitched as he glared at the lone shinobi standing boredly in front of him. Loud snuffling filled the air as a large white dog sniffed about the notorious missing-nin's black clad legs.

"What are you doing, hm?" the confounded blond said tersely.

"Standing here," Kiba replied nonchalantly as he watched Akamaru investigate their unsuspecting quarry.

"What is your _dog_ doing, hm?"

"What's it look like he's doing? He's sniffing you," Kiba replied with a grin at the other man's discomfort.

"_Why_?" Deidara's voice rose an slightly as he edged away from the monstrous canine whose nose was slowly drawing nearer to places it had no reason to be.

"You must smell good to him," Kiba suggested, choosing to omit that Akamaru was simply following orders. "Been near any females recently?"

"What's wrong with you people, hm?! No, I have not been around any females, so your mutt can get away from me, hm," the disgruntled Akatsuki member growled. Akamaru gave the man an affronted stare before turning around and marching away. The former stone-nin's orange-masked partner scratched the hound's ears as his sensitive nose discreetly investigated him also.

"Come on Akamaru, let's go," Kiba whistled. "We've got other places to be."

Akamaru woofed as he bounded after his retreating partner, leaving two very confused villains staring at each other in bewilderment at the odd antics of their foes.

"I've always wondered if Itachi's insanity was unusual in a Konoha ninja. Now I know, hm," Deidara decided.

"It must be the climate," Tobi agreed, nodding his head sagely. "Leaf peoples are very weird."

Deidara glanced askance at his new partner. "You wouldn't by any chance happen to be one of the 'leaf people' also, hm?"

"Why does sempai want to know?"

"No reason, hm."

xXx

"I can't believe they talked us into this…I can't believe we agreed to this," Kiba muttered to Akamaru as the two returned to their village to report their findings to the duo of domineering women who _convinced_ him to assist them in gathering information. "Kunoichi are insane."


	3. Anko

**Disclaimer: I hold no claim to the characters or situations of Naruto.**

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**Anko**

"It's a good thing we don't have a timeline," Sakura murmured as she sipped from her cup. The two women were once more in the little teashop where everything began.

"We need more people," Ino agreed.

"Obviously," Sakura said with a wry smile as her longtime friend poked her tongue out at her. "Since we have already established and agreed on that little fact, we should concentrate more on the problem at hand. We need to figure out _whom_ to recruit. Kiba was a stroke of luck…"

Ino snickered. "Thank goodness for dumb luck and bored males."

"Now we just need to put together a list of people who would be willing to help, people who could be convinced, people we can sucker into it, and people we should avoid at all costs."

Ino pulled out a pad of paper and a ballpoint pen as the two kunoichi took on thoughtful expressions. "We might be able to convince Kakashi eventually, right?"

"He could be difficult," Sakura cautioned, "but he should go in the potentials column."

"Sai?"

"Potential," Sakura said after a moments pause. "He might go for it if we're sneaky enough. His ink animals would be really helpful for spying."

"What about Naruto?"

"Somehow I can't see him ever agreeing to it."

"You're probably right," Ino giggled, "but the look on his face would be priceless."

Sakura snorted. "We should tell him when we're done with all of this and get a picture of his reaction."

"Noted," Ino said with a wicked smirk. "Well, that's all of your team."

"Do you think Shikamaru would help?"

"Definitely not," Ino shook her head emphatically, sending strands of blonde flying around her face. "He'd never go for something like this. Too troublesome. We can count Choji out also."

"Pity, Shikamaru's planning could be pretty useful," Sakura sighed. "Do we know anyone else who is well endowed in the brains department?"

"Well," Ino said hesitantly, "I can think of one person, but I don't know if we'd be able to convince her."

"Who?"

"Temari of the Sand."

"You're right, but we should put her down as potential anyways."

"Yeah, it couldn't hurt to try," the blonde bombshell said as she scribbled down the name.

"Hinata would be helpful," Sakura mused, "but she's probably too modest, huh?"

"And Neji's too…well, Neji," Ino said at a loss for how to describe the Byakugan user.

"What about Tenten?" the pink haired woman wondered as she drummed her fingers on the table. "I don't know much about her."

"I don't think she'd help. She just seems too serious to get entangled in our endeavor. She almost reminds me of Neji sometimes. Shino?"

"I almost want to say no, but with a bit of care he could be enlisted."

Ino chewed on the end of her pen as a pensive haze settled in her teal eyes. "The dilemma is that we don't know a lot of the people we're going to need well enough to be able to tell who would be willing to help us with our scheme."

"Too true," Sakura sighed. "At least we have a starting point so…"

"Well, well, now what do we have here?" a voice murmured, effectively silencing the young women as Anko moved the navy barrier aside and towered above the sitting kunoichi.

Sakura and Ino exchanged nervous glances before settling their gazes on the former disciple of Orochimaru who was smirking at them.

"Here I am, walking along to buy some dango and minding my own business, when I overhear a couple of kunoichi scheming. Now just what do you think you're up to?" the dark-haired woman demanded as she settled her hands on her hips.

"Well, um...you see," Ino and Sakura stuttered before lapsing into silence as the older kunoichi snorted and her grin widened.

"You should know better than to plan something devious without including me," Anko admonished the two stunned teenagers as she took a seat beside them. "Give me all the details."

Sakura and Ino exchanged bewildered glances this time as they shrugged and promptly launched into a description of their conjectures and what they were doing to prove or disprove their hypothesis. The woman kept her gray eyes fixed on the younger kunoichi throughout the entire explanation. Uneasy silence filled the small area as Anko remained lost in thought.

A crooked grin lit across her face as she chuckled quietly. "This is gonna be fun."

"So you're in?" Sakura surmised.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

xXx

"Ahh!" Deidara screamed in frustration as he launched on of his clay bombs at what was once an innocent squirrel attempting in vain to gather acorns.

"What was that about sempai?" Tobi inquired from his position safely behind the short-tempered blond. "Was it dangerous? Were we in mortal peril?!"

"Shut-up Tobi!" the explosives master snapped before lapsing into furious pacing as he began to mutter about how the local fauna of fire country was conspiring against him.

"Tobi's beginning to wonder if sempai is feeling all right," the masked man murmured just loud enough for his partner to hear him as he slowly inched away. "What's fauna and why would it be conspiring against sempai?"

"Wildlife, animals," the former stone-nin answered with a dark glare as he resumed pacing. "First there was that shinobi and his damned mutt, then there was that small slug which kept sticking in my hair no matter how I tried to get rid of it, and I swear that snake was watching me this morning!"

"It wasn't watching you, sempai," Tobi corrected as he wagged his finger reprovingly. "It was just startled when you woke up and scared it out of your blanket."

Deidara stared blankly at his partner before shrieking as he shuddered madly and rubbed his arms. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Who knows what it could have been doing under my blanket!"

"Tobi didn't want sempai to overreact."

"Then why did you tell me!" Deidara despaired. "Forget Konoha, everything in this wretched country is insane! No wonder they can't appreciate art!"

Tobi backed away into the foliage with a quiet snicker as the blond man left frantically in search of a nearby source of water.


End file.
